DFDepressed FanDepressed Fan



, all the time

I’m sitting here, flipping through the channels, and I finally remember that the Mets are playing the Phils tonight. Should be an enjoyable game, two offensive power-houses (at least by National League standards). It’s 3–1 when I tune in, Phils lead, in the bottom of the second. Jamie Moyer is on the mound.

I’m not all that shocked, but he’s topping out at 78 miles-per-hour. The Mets score an ugly run to move within one, then the side is retired. Tom Glavine takes the hill, and he tops out at 79 miles-per-hour. Someone call Elias, I think this is the first time in major league history that two non-knuckleballers have faced off and neither has broken 80 MPH.

Carlos Delgado just struck out on a 65 MPH slurve. I think Moyer and Glavine are trying to one-up each other, see who can throw the slowest ball. It’s really something to behold, and I highly recommend you tune in, especially if there’s no paint to watch dry in your house.

Glavine just muscled up and hit 83 on the gun, putting an end to the septuagenarian fun. Party pooper.

by Brian on Apr 12 2007