DFDepressed FanDepressed Fan



, all the time

I thought I'd seen the height of fan-frivolity reached when Gene Simmons announced on the Howard Stern show a couple of years ago that Kiss was selling "Kiss Caskets." Simmons is probably the biggest shill in the entertainment world, so it wasn't that shocking that he'd offer his fans the rare opportunity to be buried in a piece of gaudy memorabilia. Never one to be outdone, Major League Baseball has seized upon this untapped market by licensing team logos to Eternal Image to be blazoned upon urns.

If burial just isn't the thing for you, and you'd like to see your remains incinerated, then ground down into dust, only to be deposited in a pin-striped receptacle then Eternal Images is the company for you. But, if you don't want to go the furnace-route, fear not, EI is currently working on MLB caskets.

I can't see too many people writing a clause into their wills stating that they must be interred in a Yankee receptacle, so I'm guessing the marketing push will be geared to the executors and heirs out there who have lost fanatical loved ones. I searched for words to describe my feelings about this, but found I couldn't out-do the pearls of wisdom dropped by Walter Sobchak in the best movie of my lifetime:

"GOD DAMN IT! Look, just because we're bereaved, that doesn't make us saps!"

by Brian on Mar 8 2007