Hank: Merry Christmas, You Small-Market *&^#s

Hank Steinbrenner, in true philanthropic fashion, announced that he will write a check for $23.88 million in the new year, payable to the greedy, selfish, bad-for-baseball, slimey owners of "small market" teams. Men like Carl Pohlad will take the checks and either deposit them in their bank accounts or use the ill-gotten gains to lavish their trophy wives with meaningless gifts, meanwhile their teams will claim poverty and put pitiful talent on the field yet again.

In true Christmas fashion, Steinbrenner will get nothing in return from the remoras of MLB, nor will he ask for much. 'Tis the season for giving, so small-market fans, when your owners pocket the luxury tax monies, let their superstars walk away all while raising ticket prices, don't blame Hank. He's doing his part to keep Christmas alive.