DFDepressed FanDepressed Fan



, all the time


If that picture doesn't freak you out, think about this. An improbable win tonight against the Lakers would almost certainly add another couple of games to the Eddie Jordan doomsday clock.

Kobe. Pau. Lamar. Andrew. Ron Ron. Yeah, the Lakers are stacked and that's kind of what has me worried. We all know the Sixers shouldn't win this game tonight. They shouldn't even come close. But in the back of my mind I remember the Boston game, in Boston. I remember the Dallas game, to a lesser extent. All it's going to take to keep Eddie Jordan in place as the Sixers head coach is a handful of timely wins against good opponents. A win over the mighty Lakers would turn his pomposity up to 11 and move us further away from justice.

Luckily, I don't think that's very likely.

It's not that I don't want to see the Sixers win. In fact, if they did I'd enjoy it tremendously. I hate the Lakers and their whole act. I'm sick of hearing about Kobe's broken finger, I'm sick of seeing their highlights. The Sixers win in LA last year was probably the regular season high for me, especially considering Iguodala stuck the three at the buzzer to one-up Kobe for the win, but I'm fairly certain I wouldn't enjoy a win tonight nearly as much.

So firmly lodged between a rock and a hard place, I'm again forced to fall back on the small things to keep from gauging out my eyes with a dull spoon. Here's my list of in-game entertainment opportunities:

  1. Jrue on Kobe? Assuming Jordan starts the same lineup, you have to believe this will be the matchup, and seriously, what a test for the kid. I'm pumped. (If our coach wasn't a complete moron, it'd be Jrue, Iguodala, Thad, Brand and Sammy to start this game).
  2. Ron Ron vs. Iguodala - If Iguodala is a strong safety, Artest is a middle linebacker. His reputation for defense probably outpaces his actual performance these days, but if he can he'll muscle up on you. Iguodala needs to use his quickness advantage on the offensive end and try to induce long jumpers from him on the other side of the floor.
  3. Pau vs. Brand - Really tough matchup on both ends for Brand. Interested to see how he holds up against Pau's length.
  4. Sammy vs. Bynum - Anyone remember this game? Probably the worst defensive performance I've ever seen from Sam. Bynum basically date raped him in front of 18,000 eyewitnesses. I'm always afraid we'll see a repeat of that performance when we face LAL.
  5. Phil Jackson vs. Edward "Fast Eddie" Jordan - If you didn't laugh out loud when you read that matchup you're clearly not paying attention.

  6. Key to the Game: Adjustments, or lack thereof
    If _____________ the Sixers will win: God forbid it's a close game down the stretch, neither Lou nor Iverson are on the floor "guarding" Derek Fisher or Kobe Bryant.

    This is your game thread, I'll be right here banging my head against the wall. Join me if you're looking to blow of some steam.
by Brian on Jan 29 2010
Tags: Basketball | Lakers | Previews | Sixers |