Earlier this morning, at the NovaCare Complex.
Andy Reid: RENO! RENO! God Damnit, where is that guy.
Reno Mahe: Morning sir, here are your donuts. Wow, have you lost weight?
AR: Don't patronize me, I'll have you working back at Applebees so fast your head'll spin
(Mahe lays out a spread of two-dozen Krispy Kreme donuts on Reid's overflowing desk.)
AR: Mahe, get me Stallworth, I spent the last month working on a some trick plays to get him the ball in space. He's the key to our season.
RM: Uhh........Mr. Reid, sir....
AR: Spit it out son. You're here to be my eyes and ears, I'm certainly not paying you to average 3.0 yards per punt return.
RM: Well.....errr......Maybe I should go get Mr. Heckert.
AR: Gosh darnit. Spit it out son.
RM: Well, you see Mr. Reid, the thing is -
AR: - What the...Mahe who the hell is that little white kid? Did they hire another towel boy while I was gone?
(Mahe attempts to back out of the office, Reid presses a button below his desk, automatically slamming the door shut, locking Mahe in the room.)
AR: Stop sissy-footing around Mahe. Spill!
RM: OK, sir. But don't shoot the messenger
AR: SPIT. IT. OUT. Or you're cut.
RM: Well, while you were attending to other matters, we kinda sorta accidentally let Stallworth go.
AR: WHAT? What the hell is going on here? Why didn't anyone call me?
MH: We tried to sir, but your telephone was answered by a young lady named Ginger. She said she traded some kid some "H" for his cellphone. I'm not sure what "H" is though.
AR: BRIGHAM H. YOUNG!!!! This is a trajedy. Doesn't anyone around here have a brain? How could you let this happen Mahe!!!!!!!!!!!! I left you in charge. Stallworth's gone, we have a new towel-boy, next you're going to tell me we didn't bring Garcia back.
RM: About Garcia...
AR: Don't tell me...that whipper-snapper Gruden signed him. I knew that little punk was going to stab me in the back. Did you know I used to make him wash my car every day after practice.
RM: Actually, I never knew who my predecessor was.
(A hesitant knock on the door. Reid glances up to see Kevin Curtis through the glass.)
AR: What the hell does the towel boy want? Didn't you tell him I don't have my sauna until after morning donuts?
(Reid presses the button again, unlocking the door. Curtis enters the office.)
KC: Hi coach! It's super-great to meet you.
AR: Only players call me coach, junior. Leave the towels over there.
RM: Uh, sir. This is Kevin Curtis, your new wide receiver.
(Curtis smiles politely, and averts his eyes)
AR: Are you kidding me? He looks like a towel boy. Get Heckert in here. I'm firing his ass -
RM: Uhh, sir. Could I have a word in private please? (Reid motions Mahe closer, Mahe leans in and whispers in his ear..) Sir, he's a mormon.
AR: Really? (Mahe nods, Reid turns his attention to Curtis) Welcome aboard son! Have I got some plays for you. You're going to fit right in.