Depressed Fan

The latest Yankees rumor to make the rounds involves the Diamondbacks' interest in trading for Randy Johnson. The rumor is that the Diamondacks are offering three players, including one major leaguer for the decrepit lefty. Brian Cashman, if you're reading this, I'll offer up my frequent-flyer miles for a free one-way ticket to send Johnson to Phoenix if you trade him.

Best case scenario: The Yanks deal Johnson, do not pick up any of his contract, and sign Roger Clemens with that $16 million. This would be a win-win. No matter who they get back, they're going to get younger. Not to mention the fact that Johnson has been a failure in New York. Let's face facts, he just hasn't lived up to expectations. I don't know if it's because he's past his prime, or if he doesn't like pitching in NY, but he should've put up monster numbers for the Yanks and he hasn't. Lefties thrive in Yankee Stadium. Johnson's career numbers in pinstripes: 34-19 with a 4.36 ERA, more than a run above his career ERA. His strikeouts have been way down and his WHIP has been up. Not to mention the fact that he's coming off back surgery. It's time to cut him loose.

This move would be the best thing for all concerned. The Yanks could clear some salary, create a spot for Clemens to come back to and get younger. The Diamonbacks could fool some fans into coming back to the BOB. Johnson could live closer to his Arizona home and grow back his luxurious mullet. Mr. Cashman, I'm dead serious about my frequent-flyer miles offer, but the Unit has to fly coach. You don't fly first class unless you get us a ring.